I'm writing this post in a bar, in Liverpool.
All around me are people drinking wine, or nice cool beers, on what has been the hottest day of the year. The car hit 32 degrees earlier - and this is in the North of England. Practically unheard of. It's a lovely evening to relax with friends over a drink.
So you'll forgive me for an ice cold wine won't you? Just the one?
No, I didn't think you would - which is why I'm sitting here alone with my laptop, sipping tonic water. Unfortunately my job means I have to sit here for at least another hour yet - but my only regret really is that it isn't the BrewDog bar around the corner so I could have a pint of (AF) Nanny State, which is my favourite new beer.
Actually this is the sort of place where they may have something AF, but I'm sort of shy to ask, after my faux pas the other day! And I need to get used to just making do, and fast, as Thursday I will be working at a festival all day where the booze is included in the entry fee (or in the staff AAA pass) and will be flowing freely. Hope the queues at the diet coke tent are shorter....
I saw the addiction counsellor today, she seemed pleased with me, and I seem to have triggered some sort of magic key at 3 weeks sober which means I'm now being given details of relapse prevention groups, a sobriety cafe, and all sorts. I think I might try to go - I don't feel like I need it now but I do think it's wise to have as much support in place ready for if and when I do start to fall. All sorts of meetings and groups that when I was an active drinker were kept secret from me! Interesting. Making time is my big problem though.
Two things she said that struck me -
1) that it takes 21 days to break a habit, so I might be getting beyond my evening drink habitual craving and
2) that people tend to relapse after 3 months when the novelty wears off.
3 months and it'll be back to school, back from the summer, back to routine - I can see that being a dangerous time anyway. But if I've made it that far, and through my holiday too, then hopefully I'll still be feeling strong. We will see.
Yes, there is something to that 21 day thing. I'm at 30 and no longer doing mental wine inventory on my drive home from work. I have stopped pacing wondering what the hell I'm going to do with myself for the next 4 hours.
ReplyDeleteBTW, I read in another post about you restoring a caravan (a travel trailer, right?) I would love to hear about what you're doing and/or see pics if you have any. I am thinking about purchasing a vintage "canned ham" trailer to restore. I told my husband it would "keep me off the sauce."
Well done on Day 31 today I hope! I'm glad it's getting easier for you - I can fill the time but I still just have moments where it feels like a drink would ease me through it.
DeleteYep it's a 20+ year old wreck - I'm not sure it will be anything much other than that to be honest, and so far it's been structural repairs rather than anything too artistic. Planning to work on it this weekend so if it starts to look presentable I will share photos! :)
OMG, yes. I had an '89 5th "bargain" 5th wheel trailer that had a leak in the bedroom. Ended up stripping off the inside panels and starting over. Makeover was actually quite cute (DIY mistakes covered by wooden trim). Please do share!
DeleteYes, still good on day 32! Enjoying some O'Douls (NA beer) in the hot hot heat. Got the idea from other bloggers and frankly it's hard to tell the diff (except the obvious lack of buzz.)
OMG, yes. I had an '89 5th "bargain" 5th wheel trailer that had a leak in the bedroom. Ended up stripping off the inside panels and starting over. Makeover was actually quite cute (DIY mistakes covered by wooden trim). Please do share!
DeleteYes, still good on day 32! Enjoying some O'Douls (NA beer) in the hot hot heat. Got the idea from other bloggers and frankly it's hard to tell the diff (except the obvious lack of buzz.)
We started painting the outside today and it makes such a difference, I'm feeling really motivated to get it done now. I wonder if it will actually be roadworthy after though...
DeleteCongrats on what is now Day 33! I have run out of NA beer but when hubs offered to go and get some, I said I could wait till tomorrow. I would never have said that about real beer!
I didn't go to AA until I hit almost 3 months. Somehow I realized along the way that I felt alone and wanted to see what was out there.
ReplyDeletealthough AA is not really my thing, I do go occasionally to remind myself that inside we are really all the same. We just want love and belonging.
Yes I think for me knowing I'm not alone is important - one of the reasons why I really appreciate you guys commenting! I was quite shocked just how many AA meetings there are in this relatively small city - clearly there are more of us dipsomaniacs walking around than you first imagine.
DeleteI will go eventually - I tend to be slow talking myself into such things. I'm not very social or good with strangers in real life, so the thought of walking into a room however friendly is quite scary.