Phew (Day 13)

So it's been a mad few days work-wise, even working yesterday and today. I don't feel very relaxed, or in control. There are a lot of things that need doing at home as well, that I'm finding it hard to get motivated about.

I think there's a danger time coming up. Hubs is away for a week, so that's going to add to my stress plus there's nobody here to hold me accountable. Stocking up on tonic and AF beer so that I have something to put in my glass, and moving all the alcohol to the garage so it's not within easy reach. I feel like some twisted survivalist with all this stockpiling. I have to juggle sole responsibility for the house and family with a very busy week at work, and that is my number one drinking trigger.

The Gin Goblin has a lot to say for herself tonight, but the only alcohol in the house is a bottle of beer in the fridge, and I'm prepared to tip it down the sink if I find myself opening it! This is Day 13 and I'm not giving in.

The last few days have been filled with many beautiful moments, and I do feel like since I stopped drinking I'm more 'present' and able to appreciate them, even if my "Type A" need to always be moving forward still gets in the way a little. I've also noticed that I'm becoming more opinionated! I'm not sure if this is because I'm a bit stressed and grumpy, or whether it's because I feel more able to put together a coherent argument - with politics, for example, I'd always back away saying I didn't know enough about it, but get me talking about Greece and the EU and I can really unleash it! I also have opinions about people who hog the middle lane on the motorway, various really badly managed things (for example the YouMeBumBumTrain ticket fiasco this evening), and laundry powder.

Sleep is interesting - I struggled to unwind and sleep last night but I was still able to get up relatively early today. As you might have guessed, 6am starts have been a bit beyond me, but I can go to bed at 10 and get up at 7 without too much trouble. Mornings are definitely getting easier.