Day 34 - Surviving a sober birthday

I'm slightly ashamed of myself for not updating this for a week. I have missed my little group of supporters, and missed catching up on your blogs too, so I think there might be a few hours of reading ahead for me once I've got this down.

It was a funny week mood-wise. Lots and lots of work done, my usual feeling of not being caught up and running to stand still...nothing bad happened but I wasn't always in my most enthusiastic of moods. It culminated on Friday - it was my MBA graduation ceremony. Hubs took a day off to attend, in-laws arranged to pick SmallPerson up from school and baby sit and then on the morning of the event....I decided I couldn't be bothered!

It wasn't quite that simple to be fair - I think I've mentioned before the caravan I have been renovating, and I'd done some work on that during the week as I wanted to get it ready-ish for Saturday when people would be coming over for my birthday. So by Friday morning I was tired, and I still wanted to get a lot of work done on it. I had a rare 'day off' from my work (out of office ON and a resolve not to look at my emails!), and suddenly the thought of chasing around Manchester trying to find robing rooms and photographers and assigned seats and then sit sweltering in Whitworth Hall watching lots of people I don't know march across a stage seemed like a huge waste of time.

I've graduated twice before. It's boring. I don't need a photo or a silly hat to make myself proud of my achievement - I know what I have done, I know better than anyone else ever can what hard work it was to get there. The realisation that I'm an adult and I really didn't HAVE to go if I didn't want to was actually quite liberating. I'm assuming they will post me my certificate!

As a result the caravan now looks halfway decent inside. It's definitely 'shabby chic' and the paint job isn't the best, but it's habitable (just) and a place where I can actually imagine us spending a couple of nights. I must try not to get too ambitious now though - at the moment there's no power or plumbing and it's probably safest for us all if it stays that way. I'm bidding on caravan movers on eBay now which are worth more than the van itself but persuading myself that I can always take it off and sell it once the caravan gives way....

Next job will be to tart up the outside a bit!

Yesterday was Birthday Day. On my last night of drinking I had rather rashly decided to host a BBQ and invite everyone to it. Bit of a disaster really, my family and a couple of friends showed up but nobody was really drinking (although I had laid on plenty of beer and wine!) and everyone had gone by about 7pm. The trouble with my parties, which I very rarely host, is that I tend to be the 'common link' so people generally don't know each other - which doesn't make for a great time for anyone as I spend most of it trying to make sure everyone has been talked to and has a drink in their hand.

Anyway, the difference this year is that I refuse to stress about it too much, I'm not responsible for people's fun really. It's reminded me why I don't do it, and why I won't do it again! I also fret a bit about who DIDN'T come and why I can't host a party like normal people, which is not really necessary or helpful.

Today's problem is what to do with the leftover alcohol - I guess stash it in the garage in a box, try not to forget it's there, and donate it to other social gatherings before the best before date is up! There's a ton of lovely soft drinks and cordials which I will enjoy working my way through.

There was only one moment where I wanted a drink - when I was pouring the first glasses of wine. The smell hit me and I just WANTED some. I somehow got some on my fingers and wanted to lick it off. But I didn't, and the feeling passed and didn't come back. I very deliberately didn't buy spirits, as I didn't want anything left in the house that might need 'finishing off' and I think that was a good plan.

It seems very unfair that today I feel rough as anything - just exhausted. I was thrown out of bed at 1.30pm and now I'm just curled up on the sofa in my nightie, and probably not moving too far today. I ache all over from all of the physical work of the last few days, and I could go back to sleep at the drop of a hat. I wonder if this is a sign that I really ought to start thinking about fitness, carving out some time to go swimming a couple of times a week? I'm not a gym bunny at all, and I'm a slow swimmer, but I do find it quite relaxing. Also I have a waterproof MP3 player so it might also be a good time to catch up on some audio books!