One thing about being sober is that I can no longer blame the less wonderful aspects of my personality on my drinking.
I'd like to think I'm a nice person - I'm kind, I try to think of others, I lack a lot of social skills but I try to treat others as I would like to be treated. Despite this I do sometimes lack patience.
There have been a couple of times this week where I've just lost my temper with people - I've been polite and not raised my email (or TYPED IN CAPITALS) but I've had to be a little...well, firm I suppose is the word.
Actually you know what? Reflecting on it, I'm quite happy that by the time I got firm, I'd played nice and been helpful quite enough - but what annoyed me was when people continued to fail to do their job (or expected me to do it for them!). Interestingly, I don't feel too bad about it, I don't think I've been rude or unreasonable. So perhaps this is a good thing - old me would have been chewing on it and feeling bad.
I suppose I also take it sometimes without it upsetting me - I can be a bit clueless and the people who work with me occasionally sit me down and tell me what they need from me. Perhaps they are quietly gnashing their teeth as they smile nicely and talk to me in short sentences!
I'm also dealing with some drama - not mine, but a friend who is a total drama queen. They have had a big row with their partner but this means it's OVER FOREVER WAAAAAAH rather than just that the other party is too pissed off to reply to their texts right now. I'm trying so hard to be nice, and supportive, but I am also trying to say to them - relax, apologise, and wait. Just wait.
Maybe I'd be different if it was my own drama, but waiting to see what the Universe does about it seems to be about the only course of action available sometimes.
I'm off to London tonight to see this which I am really looking forward to. I'm told the cocktails are amazing. I hope they have something interesting but AF for me!
I have found I don't ruminate anymore.
ReplyDeleteI still get mad, but then let it go.
Have fun!
xo
Wendy
I'm hoping this keeps improving as I move forward. It would be nice to care even less about what people think!
DeleteEven though Western culture still insists that Assertive Woman=Bitch, it is not true. Never was.
ReplyDeleteOoh, you're thing looks fun! Wander up to the bar and order a double seltzer- on the rocks! Iced tea-- straight up! Tom Collins- hold the Tom!
It was absolutely brilliant! Had a great time and was back home in bed by 11pm as well, what's not to like? They made me a virgin mojito with pomegranate which was most acceptable :)
DeleteSometimes anger is a good thing. Like Wendy said, as long as you don't hold on to it, it might be part of your boundaries.
ReplyDeleteI think anger is normal. I just want to keep a check on whether I'm aiming it at the right people and in the right dose!
DeleteGrr, London gets all the good things! I've recently distanced myself from a girl that everytime I spoke to had a different drama. Everything was horrendous or a nightmare. I feel a bit guilty and have so made contact again but I find her very trying to be around sometimes. I guess we have to decide on the people who make us better people and those that don't!
ReplyDelete