Goals

I've not blogged before so please tell me nicely if I break any etiquette rules or anything. This post is prompted by something I read in Ruby Tuesday Abstains. She was talking about setting goals for the year - and she accepted that although she might not achieve all of them, achieving goal number 1 (to stop drinking) would make achieving the others more likely.

I love that thinking, and I wish I could be the same. I am so afraid to fail that often I won't try - or at least, I won't verbalise my goals, so that nobody knows if I don't make it. I think it's the reason why nobody other than my husband knows that this sobriety is intended to be forever. The few other people who have noticed I've stopped drinking are assuming it's a short term thing, and I'm not correcting them.

Hopefully as time goes on I'll manage to be a bit more confident and positive. But I do like the idea of goal setting. So here are my goals for this week...

• Don't drink alcohol.
• Have a consistent time for getting in and out of bed (maybe 10pm, up at 6? It would be nice to get the dog walked and a little work done before everyone else wakes up!).
• Try to make healthier choices with food; think before I just randomly throw things into my mouth.
• Remember to take my antidepressants every day.

The food one should be easy as I have no appetite at all at the moment - hoping this keeps up, as it would be great to lose weight as a side effect of all of this! I've never been a small person but lately I've stopped really caring, and as a result I've piled it on and most of my clothes don't fit. I don't have the mental capacity to properly diet at the moment, and I'm trying to go easy on myself for that.

Today's goal is just to get through it, and hope that this weird fizzy feeling goes away. A couple of work things to deal with, and just to keep breathing.