Thursday 1 October 2015

Day 115

I am not a reliable correspondent. I think it's one of the things I assumed would improve with getting sober but it hasn't. I need to get my shit together and work through my emails, then keep on top of it, because I stress when I know there's a lot to do. 

I think I had another breakthrough moment last night. I'm working away and staying in a hotel and remembered a trip in the spring where there wasn't a bottle opener so I had to get creative with the furniture to open the beers I had bought. At the time I felt proud of my resourcefulness. Now I just feel embarrassed - that desperate for a beer. And I look at people who run out for a smoke at every opportunity with scorn - I'll have to rethink that!

Last night I had an AF beer in my bag. There was no opener. It's still in my bag.  No big deal. Similarly I ate in the hotel bar and only had a fleeting moment of wanting a glass of wine. 

I still wonder how long this will last. 

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10 comments:

  1. Untipsyteacher1 October 2015 at 18:13

    115 days is AWESOME!!!
    Don't worry if you write often, unless it helps you stay sober.
    Writing a lot really helped me the first 100 days.
    So happy you are doing well!
    xo
    Wendy

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    1. Unknown7 October 2015 at 01:19

      Thanks Wendy - I think it's a good sign, it means that I'm thinking about it less, it's become my new normal :)

      Delete
  2. Anonymous3 October 2015 at 12:14

    I'm on Day 123 and neither has my own shit magically flown together:) I'm a "peaks and valleys" person, go balls out for a time, then chill out and do nothing, then do it all again. Not everyone is naturally organized. If my bank didn't have auto bill pay my water would probably get shut off. It's okay, some of us are just like that and we need tools to keep up us on track. We need lists and alarms and alerts and sticky notes. Doesn't mean we're not totally awesome or great at what we do:)

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    1. Unknown7 October 2015 at 01:20

      Yep you sound a lot like me. I had texts from three different friends when I woke up this morning to remind me to do stuff. I still managed to leave the house without half the things I was meant to bring...!

      Delete
  3. Time and the Bottle4 October 2015 at 13:42

    Seems like things are getting better and better. As far as I am concerned you seem pretty organized to me. At least, with your thoughts. :)

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    1. Unknown7 October 2015 at 01:21

      Ah thank you - I'm a Tasmanian Devil of chaos really but it's good to know I'm putting up a decent front! But yes - the longer I keep going the less "being sober" is a thing in my head,

      Delete
  4. Ainsobriety5 October 2015 at 10:32

    I hope it lasts forever. There isn't much for anyone in a bottle of beer or a glass of wine, except pain and misery.

    Keep at it!

    Anne

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    Replies
    1. Unknown7 October 2015 at 01:21

      It's remembering that which will be the trick - distance seems to make it easy to forget the bad bits. A lot like childbirth!

      Thanks :)

      Delete
    2. Unknown7 October 2015 at 01:22

      It's remembering that which will be the trick - distance seems to make it easy to forget the bad bits. A lot like childbirth!

      Thanks :)

      Delete
  5. Sober Mommy12 October 2015 at 05:41

    I stopped writing as much on my blog.... and I almost drank last week.
    We need to focus on your recovery...every single day....every single moment.... or we will lose it.....
    I just found your blog. I look forward to following your journey!
    Jen
    Day 280

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