Day 11. More cravings today. Not so much that I'll give in, but I have been thinking about alcohol a lot more today and feeling quite anxious about never drinking again. This will pass, I know. I'm telling myself that it's a choice - that I can choose to drink if I want to - but that the sensible part of me knows that would be a bad choice. Nobody is saying 'no', what is actually happening is me saying 'No, thanks, not today'.
My brain is waking up a lot, but my motivation is lagging behind - if I was in a mood to write, to work, I could absolutely kill it. But my focus is on my hobby (photography) rather than my job at the moment and I'm having to try to rein it in and actually get some paying work out of the door.
Off to Cornwall to see my mum tomorrow, which I'm looking forward to. I've not been home since last summer and I could do with a dose of sea air. Going to stock up on Nanny State and pretend I never liked the local beers anyway!
Nothing much else to report. Better sleep last night. I do have one weird physical thing going on at the moment but I can't imagine how it can possibly be linked to alcohol, unless that in turn can do something wacky to your hormones? Hopefully a few days of R&R will see me come back to real life next week with a bit more enthusiasm for everything...
Make 2 lists, one that are all the reasons you don't want to drink, and one of all the reasons you want to stay sober.
ReplyDeleteAnytime you have a craving, think all the way through the end.
I find that if I do that, I am so repulsed by how icky I felt, looked, acted.
xo
Wendy
Good plan. At the moment I think pig headedness is getting me through as well - I don't want to start again!
DeleteBeautiful post. I think I hide behind a mask too. Well, it's time to pull it down. I just have to work out who I am first. That might take a while!
ReplyDeleterehab centers